Next up on Punch Drunk Theater: CYBORG!
It has a 14% rating on Rotten Tomatoes.
This should go well.
#Cyborg #PDT
— Tiffany Pitts (@snickerpants) July 29, 2015
OMG we're paying money to watch this.
#Cyborg #PDT
— Tiffany Pitts (@snickerpants) July 29, 2015
It has a beautiful half-human half-cyborg in it though so I'm thinking this is going to be pretty awesome guys.
#Cyborg #PDT
— Tiffany Pitts (@snickerpants) July 29, 2015
OOOO THE BAD GUY HAS CRIMPED HAIR. YESSSSS.
#Cyborg #PDT
— Tiffany Pitts (@snickerpants) July 29, 2015
WHOA, THE BAD GUY IS TOTALLY A DROW YOU GUYS. I SAW HIS EYES.
He's like Drizzt's evil cousin or something.
#Cyborg #PDT
— Tiffany Pitts (@snickerpants) July 29, 2015
Wait, Drizzt's evil cousin would just be a regular dark elf though, wouldn't he?
I really want to see Van Damme fight dark elves now.
— Tiffany Pitts (@snickerpants) July 29, 2015
That lady is not at all convincing as a cyborg.
#Cyborg #PDT
— Tiffany Pitts (@snickerpants) July 29, 2015
I am glad that they are *literally* telling us the plot because I would NOT be following it otherwise.
#Cyborg #PDT
— Tiffany Pitts (@snickerpants) July 29, 2015
This is supposed to be a post-apocalyptic nightmare and she's eating a fresh salad packed in a Tupperware bowl?
#Cyborg #PDT
— Tiffany Pitts (@snickerpants) July 29, 2015
That was 15 seconds of chest muscles and sharpening knives. Does no one know how to make bullets anymore?
#Cyborg #PDT
— Tiffany Pitts (@snickerpants) July 29, 2015
That girl is naked. Not for any real reason. She's just hanging out being naked.
#Cyborg #PDT
— Tiffany Pitts (@snickerpants) July 29, 2015
That doesn't look post-apocalyptic at all. That just looks like some place in Louisiana.
#Cyborg #PDT
— Tiffany Pitts (@snickerpants) July 29, 2015
Why did the bad guys disappear right then? Where did they go? And why did they all come screaming down the stairs?
#Cyborg #PDT
— Tiffany Pitts (@snickerpants) July 29, 2015
Soooo…the flesh pirate killed her only she came back to life?
#Cyborg #PDT
— Tiffany Pitts (@snickerpants) July 29, 2015
I the bad guys aresupposed to be 'Flesh Pirates' but it really looks like they're being hunted by an 80's hair band.
#Cyborg #PDT
— Tiffany Pitts (@snickerpants) July 29, 2015
And Flesh Pirates can only communicate by screaming.
Again, not unlike an 80's hair band.
#Cyborg #PDT
— Tiffany Pitts (@snickerpants) July 29, 2015
They crucified him.
No, LITERALLY.
This is one of the best master's thesis projects I have ever seen.
#Cyborg #PDT
— Tiffany Pitts (@snickerpants) July 29, 2015
He has not cleaned his sunglasses since he killed Van Damme's family at the beginning of the film. How the hell can he see?
#Cyborg #PDT
— Tiffany Pitts (@snickerpants) July 29, 2015
Evil Drizzt took his chain mail off AND HE PUFFY SLEEVES. It is pectoral y pectoral now. #Cyborg #PDT
— Tiffany Pitts (@snickerpants) July 29, 2015
Everyone in this scene is screaming.
#Cyborg #PDT
— Tiffany Pitts (@snickerpants) July 29, 2015
Van Damme's character's name was Gibson Rickenbacker.
GIBSON RICKENBACKER.
#Cyborg #PDT
— Tiffany Pitts (@snickerpants) July 29, 2015
Yes. 14% is about right.
#Cyborg #PDT
— Tiffany Pitts (@snickerpants) July 29, 2015
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