Legos and Feminism FTW!

My kid is 11. When he is not playing Minecraft, he is building with Legos. He friggen’ LOVES Legos. We have never celebrated any gift-giving holiday with him in which Lego was not involved.  By now, there are roughly four million dollars worth of Lego in my house. I’d say a good $123 worth are stuck in the heating vents and $27 worth are in the vacuum cleaner.

This Jackass lives on a steady diet of custom hair pieces and hard-to-find 1-bumpers

This asshole lives on a steady diet of custom hair pieces and hard-to-find 1-bumpers

Occasionally, we all take on a family sorting project where we try to separate them by color (white, grey and black for all the spaceships, red, yellow and green for all the houses – stuff like that.) I got bored the other day and decided to start again, only this time, instead of by color, I started picking out all the Lego people.

At first, my son thought it was nice of me to be helping. But then he found a minifig he hadn’t seen in a while. Soon, he was obsessed. Every two minutes he’d get all excited and I’d hear,

“Oh, Mom! Look at this one! It’s a StarFisherSnackMonsterBlahDittyBlah!”

Then he’d shove a tiny Lego person halfway up my nose in an attempt to show me the differently shaped stripe it had on its helmet.

After a while I faded to the background. He kept going. This had turned into a thing. Then it turned into a secret thing. His sister, who had followed me out to the kitchen for a snack, was no longer allowed to help. He worked up until dinner time and for 10 minutes between bath and bed. The next day, he was at it again. All we could hear was the crash-crash-crash of Legos and the occasional whine from his sister about why she couldn’t come in his room.

“I’m making a surprise. I’ll show you all when I’m done. I swear!”

She huffed and puffed but he wouldn’t let her in. She was so pissed.

On the third day of secretive Lego building, he announced that he was finally ready for the big reveal. His sister, irritated beyond all common sense, proclaimed that she didn’t care. She was wasn’t about to appreciate ANYTHING her brother had spent so much time building. She summed up her feelings quite succinctly,

“So what. It probably doesn’t even have any girls in it.”

He answered that with the Spock Eyebrow. For the record, I love the Spock Eyebrow. He spent months learning how to do it properly and when he pulls that move you know he’s got an ace up his sleeve.

He disappeared into his room and returned with something hidden behind his back. 

“So, as you know, I was going through all my Lego people the other day. And I noticed that I had a lot of girl hair. I didn’t know what to do with any of it at first. But then I realized I had enough to make an army.”

Which is exactly what he did. He spent three days finding the perfect pieces to made this bad ass squad of lady fighters:

I think the Storm Trooper is my favorite.

I think the Storm Trooper is my favorite.

My kid loves making Lego battles. And it never occurred to him that the Lego women wouldn’t want to fight in one. So now he has an elite squad of women fighters that are all highly trained in the murder arts. Well, all except for the woman in green – she’s an Endorian anthropologist. But I am assured that every squad needs a scientist to help them make strategic decisions. Plus, she leads the army of Ewoks so it’s not like she’s sidelined or anything.

His sister was so impressed that she even told him so.

 

Writer Wednesday: Camela Thompson

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Check these ladies out!

Author Camela Thompson and her dog Annie, President of the Arch nemesis obliteration Coalition.

So majestic. So queenly.

That there is Camela Thompson and her doggo, Annie.  Camela is an accomplished author who has recently released the third book of her Hunted Series, Visions & Bones.  Annie is the President of the Arch Nemesis Obliteration Coalition.

Both of them agreed to let me preview the new book for you today. And if you like it, you’re in luck! Because until July 16th – all three books in the series are on sale for $0.99.

Book 3 of the Hunted series

Book 3 of the Hunted series

Chapter 1

Mike’s dress shoes slapped against the pavement in rapid tempo, the sound echoing up the brick walls of the buildings on either side. His sports coat billowed behind him while ragged breaths tore through his throat. He slid to a stop, his high-end shoes lacking purchase on the wet pavement. The alley smelled of piss and rotted meat, covering the stench of his fear. He scanned the entry points to the alley and then shot his gaze along the rooftop. Not seeing movement, he rattled the handle of the closest door.

“Shit.” Locked.

The next doorknob turned a fraction before the sharp catch of the lock jarred his arm. Sweat, more from panic than the warm summer night, stood on his neck and steamed against his collar. He scrambled to the next door. When the latch lifted and the heavy door gave way, he breathed a sigh of relief.

The guy washing dishes didn’t bother to turn. The cook, a fat man with a shadow of a beard, raised an eyebrow but said nothing as he lifted the handles of the deep fryer baskets.

Mike rushed past them and ducked into the men’s room. He grabbed a handful of paper towels and went into a stall to wipe away his sweat. The towels came away from his body tinted orange. Fortunately, his black clothes wouldn’t betray him. He stepped out of the stall, checked to make sure he was alone, and buried the towels beneath a mound of crumpled paper in the bin. He washed his hands and leaned to the mirror to check his eyes. Dark, but the whites showed. He visited the bar often. The lighting was crappy enough that no one would notice.

Jay’s Bar had a reputation as one of the seedier establishments near Pioneer Square. Thursday nights were slow, but Mike wouldn’t stand out. The usual mix of patrons could only be described as rumpled. Some wore wrinkled suits, some wore torn jeans, but all of them had the look of someone trying to hold onto their meager existence while doing their best to forget the past. True to form, the regulars sat hunched over their grimy piece of real estate at the bar. Mike slid onto the only empty stool, not bothering with the tables scattered around the room.

“Mikey! The usual?” Abe’s blue eyes shone under his abundant eyebrows. The man had gone gray long ago, but his beard stubbornly held onto red pigment around his mouth. Mike had often been tempted to tell the man it made him look disturbing.

“Sure.”

Abe set a glass in front of Mike and poured generously. He eyed his customer before setting the booze behind the bar. “You look like you’ve been running a race.”

Mike pulled at his collar, rubbing the material against his skin. “Nah. It’s just warm out.”

Abe snorted. “Right.”

A wave of heat pressed against Mike’s back.

“It is muggy.”

Mike’s skin crawled. The woman’s husky voice would be sexy under normal circumstances. He gripped his glass until his knuckles shone white. Afraid the tumbler would shatter in his hands, he eased up but didn’t dare turn around.

“What can I get you?” Abe’s voice was friendly, but he stared at Mike with an eyebrow raised.

“I’ll take whatever he’s having and buy him another round. Why don’t you join me at a table, Mihael?”

Mike’s eyes dried up and his scalp tightened. He hadn’t been called by that name in over one hundred years. He thought about making another run for it, but now that he was around people, she couldn’t hurt him. “Sure, Olivia. Why not?”


Camela Thompson lives with her incredibly supportive husband and strange dog in Seattle, the city where cloud cover and shadows rule. How else is a girl supposed to keep her luminescent (perfectly pasty) complexion? The rain also provides the perfect scapegoat for hiding inside with a laptop, her dog, and a hot cup of tea. Excuses for reclusive behavior get considerably more creative during the summer (she may or may not have a mild sun allergy).

And don’t forget to check out the other books in her series!

all the pretty bones cover 7.12.16

 

After ten years of living in the shadow of her stalker, a diagnosis of terminal cancer pushes Olivia Kardos to take matters into her own hands. Her final days will not be spent isolated from the world, nor hiding like a hunted animal. It’s time for Mark Porter to die.

 

 

blood Spirit Bone cover 7.12.16

A stay of execution is dependent on Olivia’s acceptance of her inheritance—a duty to kill anyone who risks exposing the supernatural to the human world.